Being single has been synonymous with failure for forever. But that is changing.
We’re taught that our value comes from being in a relationship; that without one, all we’re left with is loneliness, heartache and a propensity to buy cats.
This is because romantic notions have been thrust upon us since birth (I’m looking at you, Disney, plus the entire rom-com industry, valentine’s day and the whole sanctity of marriage…). We coo at stories of swans, penguins and beavers who all mate for life, wondering how they cracked fur-everlasting love. We grimace at couples in the street holding hands like otters and rubbing their faces together like wolves. We sit at home and wonder why we have no one sitting next to us. We try to figure out what we’re doing wrong. We wallow. We cry.
We waste precious time.
It’s okay to be single. In fact, choosing to enjoy being single is one of the most empowering decisions you’ll ever make. Choosing to enjoy being single rather than in a relationship that exists just to fill a societal expectation is single-handedly (pun intended) one of the top ways to put value on your self-worth.
Seeking external validation is a short term fix to the long term brainwashing we’ve endured since being told pink is feminine. Instead, let’s take a breath and practice the art of introspection, because no one and nothing is going to empower you more than the sense of peace and confidence you’ll gain from loving yourself for who you are, despite your chronic single-itus. Until you’ve mastered that self-love and discovered what your needs are, finding a healthy, meaningful and fulfilling life can be filled with “pot-holes”. Let’s be real: relationships are beautiful when they’re right, but they’re also hard work, sometimes painful and require a certain amount of effort, compromise and understanding before you can reap the benefits.
If you don’t know who you are and what you want; if the relationship you’re in makes you feel like a stranger in your own skin; if there’s something missing in your life and you think it’s another person, then the answer isn’t to grasp onto the nearest safety blanket, close your eyes and sing. You need to take an honest step back, reevaluate your situation and then forge ahead with something new – preferably something that doesn’t take away your happiness and your sense of self-worth.
Being single is a journey: destination, you. It’s a chance to discover new hobbies, meet new people, gain some perspective and experience life outside of your routine. It’s about going on big adventures and sitting at home in peace, watching whatever film you please. But most importantly, it’s about living in each of those moments without wishing them away. Our life doesn’t stop and start with every relationship.